Ocular conundrum

PETER had once again thwarted the telly’s ambition of non-compliance with my wishes, even if I asked it ever so nicely. He had returned from whence he...

To streak or not to streak #2

Embarrassing does not adequately describe my predicament. I was separated by the open hallway from modesty and my bathrobe and someone was at the door. My choices were:...

To streak or not to streak

IT was somewhat later than my usual showering hour, because I had done the fireplace first. Thus I was in my fireplace cleaning clothes, which are not...

Not always right

WE learn through life that some opinions are right and true, and some are disproved by the relentless march of time. As a child I had to...

The dark side of the moon #3

I WAS still not confident that the English speaker, despite speaking very good English, had fully grasped the situation of our fire. If her local knowledge, or even...

The dark side of the moon #2

THE English speaker had grasped the bones of the situation - we had a fire in the campo, and we wanted the Bomberos. ‘Where is the fire?’ ‘In...

The dark side of the moon

OUR doorbell had decided to work, so I noticed that someone wished to speak to us. As the doorbell had made a special effort, and because I am...

Hieronymus

I am no particular fan of housework - it is not a pleasure, but it must be done. It is a chore, and gets in the way...

Not sorted

I’M not good with numbers - they jump about, change places, turn themselves upside down or the wrong way round, indeed anything to confuse me. So I...

Assistance from Assistants

THERE are certain things that animals, with their superior senses, know for definite; Mr Tommy Fluffipants knows for definite that I can get dressed in the mornings...

Let Us Vote For 1 April

CHRISTMAS has come and gone, New Year is over in a flash, the Spanish have got Three Kings to come, but then it’s all quiet until Easter....

Please Tatooine

I KNOW with absolute certainty that we have a Black Hole in our house. It swallows random small items - they disappear, never to be seen again. It is...

Every shop should have one

IN search of a nice Christmas card Pete stumbled into Colin the Card (or should that be Glen the Card?) This tiny Tardis-alike source of all things necessary...

What? Again! #2

WE were running out of options; Nick and I had driven up or down, in some cases both, every road in Lorca without finding the one road that...

What? Again!

Nick Next Door, so called because he lived next door to us in England and also to distinguish him from all other Nicks in the world, was...

Ye Greatte Flanne #2

FACED with the mountain of Stuff on the kitchen table I foolishly rushed in where angels would have sent a text to Jamie Oliver requesting assistance. Encouraged from...

Ye Greatte Flanne

‘WE'VE got too many lemons - I’m going to make a flan with them.’ Bold words – I’ve never made a flan in my life! Investigation proved that we...

Shot to shreds

TEAM BIGGS, as slick and well organised a team as you could wish to meet, were participating in the Almanzora Group of Friends Treasure Hunt. We had successfully...
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