Hieronymus

I am no particular fan of housework - it is not a pleasure, but it must be done. It is a chore, and gets in the way...

Not sorted

I’M not good with numbers - they jump about, change places, turn themselves upside down or the wrong way round, indeed anything to confuse me. So I...

Assistance from Assistants

THERE are certain things that animals, with their superior senses, know for definite; Mr Tommy Fluffipants knows for definite that I can get dressed in the mornings...

Let Us Vote For 1 April

CHRISTMAS has come and gone, New Year is over in a flash, the Spanish have got Three Kings to come, but then it’s all quiet until Easter....

Please Tatooine

I KNOW with absolute certainty that we have a Black Hole in our house. It swallows random small items - they disappear, never to be seen again. It is...

Every shop should have one

IN search of a nice Christmas card Pete stumbled into Colin the Card (or should that be Glen the Card?) This tiny Tardis-alike source of all things necessary...

What? Again! #2

WE were running out of options; Nick and I had driven up or down, in some cases both, every road in Lorca without finding the one road that...

What? Again!

Nick Next Door, so called because he lived next door to us in England and also to distinguish him from all other Nicks in the world, was...

Ye Greatte Flanne #2

FACED with the mountain of Stuff on the kitchen table I foolishly rushed in where angels would have sent a text to Jamie Oliver requesting assistance. Encouraged from...

Ye Greatte Flanne

‘WE'VE got too many lemons - I’m going to make a flan with them.’ Bold words – I’ve never made a flan in my life! Investigation proved that we...

Shot to shreds

TEAM BIGGS, as slick and well organised a team as you could wish to meet, were participating in the Almanzora Group of Friends Treasure Hunt. We had successfully...

The world and the wheels

PETE, who is struggling a bit at the moment, has had to accept that perhaps a wheelchair would be a good thing. The idea is that he can...

A charmed day? #3

THE day was still sunny, the larks would still have been twittering, had there been any in the vicinity of Mora Oil’s car wash. Henry was still parked...

A charmed day? #2

WITH sunny confidence I drove the aerial-less Henry into the car wash. Having miraculously remembered to pull his mirrors in I scrambled out and checked that he was...

A charmed day?

‘TWAS a bright and sunny day; the larks were twittering, the dog was asleep, and I had a long list of random tasks to fulfil before lunch. Henry...

Calculated insubordination

I LIKE to think that I rule my little empire with a kindly hand. I make no great and onerous demands upon my subjects – I ask no more...

90% cotton wool

PETE was out of pain pills – he needed a repeat prescription. This little wrinkle of bureaucracy is essential to prevent the terminally stupid from loading up...

Ten years of progression

OVER the years I have progressed. Some of it has been good – moving to Spain, for instance. Some of it has been inevitable but has certain benefits,...
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