Please Tatooine


I KNOW with absolute certainty that we have a Black Hole in our house.

It swallows random small items – they disappear, never to be seen again.

It is possible that they do re-appear in some galaxy far, far away, and I am clinging to the possibility that one day a Jedi Master will appear in our kitchen wearing my necklace and clutching a whistle, several Stanley knives and our back door key.


Although it is unlikely, I live in hope… However, if that Jedi Master does turn up, I am banking on him also carrying a box containing a fibre-optic Christmas tree.

It wasn’t a big Christmas tree, but it was big enough to require a box sizeable enough to be easily located.

Our house is not large, neither does it have a loft or basement. Our garden only boasts two storage boxes and one shed of modest proportions.

Therefore there are not many places where a Christmas tree box can be stashed. Also the spare room has recently been occupied by our latest guest, and is still uncharacteristically tidy.

Wishing to get Christmas underway I set to with enthusiasm; I found the lights, the tinsel, the miscellaneous bits and pieces considered essential for any self-respecting display, but no tree.

Pete, who doesn’t trust my ability to find anything, least of all my way, supervised my search in all probable or possible places. Yet we found – no tree! There is no other possible scenarios – the Black Hole has swallowed it. Tatooine, please can I have my tree back?

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