Ye Greatte Flanne #2


FACED with the mountain of Stuff on the kitchen table I foolishly rushed in where angels would have sent a text to Jamie Oliver requesting assistance.

Encouraged from a distance by Pete I measured and mixed that part of the Stuff that was necessary for pastry. That seemed to go all right, apart from the amount of washing up it created.

I grated a tablespoonful of lemon zest and thumbnail – more washing up!


Pete knows from experience that when I break eggs they are well and truly broken, so he undertook this task while I dominated the sugar, thus foiling its plan to stickify the entire kitchen.

Squeezing the lemons was within my skill base and quite therapeutic. Things were going fine; the Stuff on the kitchen table was gradually transforming into Stuff That Will Need Washing Up, but you can’t make a lemon flan without breaking eggs.

The essence of the flan, the lemon curd, apparently needed stirring continuously for 20/30 minutes, so I stirred continuously. After 29 minutes I said ‘Shouldn’t it have thickened up a bit?’

‘Did you put the cornflour in?’

‘What cornflour?’

FYI: If you put the cornflour in after 29 minutes, it will take another 25 minutes to thicken.

But eventually we triumphed, even if the egg whites were too shy to peak.

Once cooked and finished it looked a bit odd, but it tasted heavenly!

If I ever remark that I’ve got too many lemons and I’m going to make a flan, shoot me!


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